My Sewing Machine Broke, So...

**Note: I added a quick paragraph at the end of this post a couple hours after publishing it. You know, just in case you want to read this again and then gain even more insight. Go for it.**

I had planned on putting together a new window treatment for the window in our living room. I was getting sick of the big, very-very-red panels I put together a while ago. They felt too formal and too red, and they made me itchy, since they were right next to my lovely new green chair. I decided I wanted something more casual, but still grown-up, that would pull out the green/brown/white/goldish colors in the room, without clashing against the red accent pieces I still like to throw in from time to time. A tall order, you say?

Well. I think I managed.

I found these instructions for homemade tie-up shades, and I set to work with some basic white muslin. And then my sewing machine died.

Really, y'all. It died. It goes through the motions of stitching without actually stitching, and I have done absolutely everything I know to do, including laying hands on it and praying (really), without any change on its part. I am sick at heart when I think about the implications. I have SO MANY projects that hinge on my machine working, and now, clearly, I need to go some new directions.

But I was not ready to give up on my new shades just yet, since those old panels made me think "burlesque" every time I walked into my living room. And if there is any word that I would absolutely not want to use to describe any room in my home, "burlesque" would be it. So instead I went for "cool," "casual," and, dare I say it, "sassy" with my white tie-up shade and coordinating paisley green valance.

Whatcha think? Doesn't it coordinate well with my chair? And my cat?

I love this shade of green. It makes me think "spring," and since a good portion of my decorating could easily always scream "AUTUMN," spring is nice. If you look at the pattern I mentioned, she makes her ties out of fabric, which is probably the smartest and most professional route. I am lazy and impatient, so I bought coordinating ribbon (1 1/2 inches wide) and used that instead. If you want to do this and follow in my lazy footsteps, then I would suggest you protect the edges of the ribbon against fraying, either using No Fray (a glue-like substance that seals the edges against fraying) or a lighter (which heat seals the edges.) I used No Fray because I have set ribbon on fire before using a lighter (no joke) and also I think doing that makes my house smell like burning hair. Or possibly marijuana.

And if there is a scent that I would absolutely not want to linger in my home, marijuana would be it.

So. Maybe you're wondering how I accomplished this feat, with a non-working, 30-year old sewing machine. Well.

I used hot glue.

It's hard to admit, especially since I had set out to actually, you know, sew these curtains and do it all correctly, ribbon ties notwithstanding. But I was desperate, and the hot glue was available, and you know what? It all looks beautiful. Just gorgeous. I did hand sew the ribbons on, since they take a lot of weight holding up the muslin, but that's really the most work I exerted for this window "mistreatment," as my inspiration, The Nester, would say.

And if you're skeptical, let me remind of you of my wicker chair cushions, the covers of which I hot glued together. They have withstood heat, humidity, rain, and cold, and so far, so good.

If that doesn't make a believer out of you, well then. Have fun sewing. I'm going to skip off and eat a snack with all the free time I saved by being half-a$$ed about my house.

A little tidbit added later...

I've had comments (here and in real life) about how high I hang my treatments. A) That's just how you do it, folks. It makes everything appear taller, more spacious, etc., which really helps in our itty bitty house. Ideally for panels you'd buy the biggest you can (98 inches or whatever) and then hang them as high as you can without puddling along the floor or installing your hardware on the ceiling. B) The two dormers upstairs (one in either upstairs bedroom--our house is a Cape Cod) are leaking like sieves, which has caused some majorly scary plaster bubbling all around and above (and even onto the ceiling above) this particular window I'm highlighting. Seriously, our walls cry when it rains. Don't worry, we're on it. New windows just got installed today on the dormers, and the siding, fascia, and insulation is due any day now. I say all that to say that the ole high-hanging-treatments trick is doing so much for our home right now--it's covering up the worst of the plaster scars.

And who says vanity doesn't pay!