The One Where I Want to Curl Up and Disappear

That's right, it's 2:30 in the morning and I am up, posting on the blog, because I can't sleep and the internet affords me no interesting diversions. The title of this post couldn't be any more accurate, and it's not just because I am depressed at my insomnia because the baby will be up to eat in another hour and a half. It's kind of shaping up to be a crappy week, and technically it just started. 

We (so far) have survived Case Pukefest 2008 without any casualties, unless you're counting nerves or my kitchen rug. Barfy McBarfington and Co. took most of the day to recover. Jack threw up a few more times yesterday after I last posted--the poor kid couldn't even keep water down, and he was so very thirsty, so we taught him how to eat ice cubes. By about 6:00 PM he was finally able to drink water without hurling, and Baylor had been doing okay since about 1:00, so it seems they are on the mend. Steve, the baby, and I haven't experienced any symptoms, which is just fine with us. We were already congratulating ourselves on coming out unscathed.

And then I woke up half an hour ago with pink eye. Again.

The excitement. It never ends.

Ever.

It's at this point in the game where I really want to collapse in a heap on the floor, cover my head in ashes, and just sob out incoherently to the Lord. I know I'm not Job. I haven't experienced true loss, true heartache, or anything of that nature. But I believe the devil can use everyday, mundane things (like, I don't know, continual, eternal sickness) to poke you right where it hurts, and I am inclined to believe that is what is happening to our little family. Maybe I sound dramatic. Maybe you think it's a load of hooey. Who cares what you think. Because I am discouraged and tired and a little embittered, and I sure know satan uses all those things to his advantage.

It doesn't help that I had to bail out on my Bible study's group cookie exchange for this morning and family potluck for the evening. That probably sounds really silly, and I'm over it by now, as I realize it just won't matter in the grand scheme of things. But I can see how, if I let it, that small of an issue could stick in my craw and fester (such a disgusting word, but so descriptive), making me susceptible to true bitterness and selfishness. One thing to which I've been looking forward that doesn't involve kids has been taken away from me, and I could very easily resent them for it.

Luckily I can write this all out, sort out my thoughts, use my little blog audience as my sounding board, and see just how silly taking this out on my kids would be. Also luckily is the fact that we leave on Friday to be with Stephen's family for a big hunk of our Christmas break. We need this vacation, even if we bring our various pestilences with us. (I surely hope not.) We need a little bit of intense parent and grandparent lovin'. (Note: Don't get me wrong. We get this here with my folks plenty. But it's not in the concentrated doses we will receive with the Cases, who live a few hours away and don't get to see us all as often.) We need to get focused again on just what we're celebrating this season, because I feel like maybe we've derailed a little over the past couple days, what with the puking and the cold and the being cooped up inside the house.

We need a break from it all.

I am finally feeling sleepy, so I will close and hopefully get in a solid hour of sleep before Charlotte stirs again. I certainly hope your week opens up on a much happier note. Hey, if anything, you can always say, "At least we're not the Cases."

That's the spirit!