Not Me! Monday

Who knows how long it will take for me to actually write and post this Not Me! Monday confessional. Despite the fact that we are on vacation, our kids still manage to take up lots of our attention and what we would otherwise like to call "free time." So let's see how quickly I can get this together, shall we?

• This week my husband, my two sons, my mother, my mother-in-law, and my sister-in-law did not come down with a wicked stomach virus that did not originate somewhere in our little family unit. (Mom, Laurie, and Janie--I am so very sorry.)

• At one point this week I did not stand in the middle of the living room floor, helpless to move or do anything productive, while my terrified son threw up the contents of his breakfast and lunch on himself, the floor, my clothing, a blanket, and even underneath my shirt.

• I did not simply throw out an old towel covered in baby sick instead of dutifully washing it just because I was tired of doing laundry and couldn't face the puke another day.

• I did not turn on Sleeping Beauty for my sons one afternoon because I just needed a few minutes of peace and quiet.

• My sons are not throwing regular fits, saying "no," or going all limp and boneless when they don't get their ways. I am not realizing that I can't prevent some of this behavior and that sometimes my children will just be pretty rotten.

• My husband and I did not race out of the house on Friday, despite threatening weather conditions from a major ice storm and impending snowstorm, to make a five hour trip through said ice and snow just because we were so darn sick of our House of the Plague.

• I did not pack six headbands for my three-month old daughter for a ten-day vacation.

• While we're on the subject of Charlotte's wardrobe, she did not come on this trip with more clothing than the rest of us combined.

• My baby girl is not having a hard time adjusting to sleeping arrangements at her grandparents' house, despite the fact that she is sleeping in the exact same portable crib she sleeps in at home. I have not given up the battle in desperation (and sleeplessness) and allowed her to sleep wedged between Stephen and myself.

• I do not lay wide awake at night, terrified I will roll over and crush her.

• I am not devouring every possible sweet thing in sight. I do not justify such reckless gluttony simply because it's the Christmas season and of course I will be losing all of my baby-baby-baby weight in the next few months, thank you very much.

• I am not once again letting my husband do the grueling work that is potty training two rambunctious toddlers at once. I am not once again thankful that nursing the baby often gets me out of doing thankless tasks.

So...I am going to close there. Sorry it's not so juicy as past issues--I'm fried, the baby is spitty, and two little trainer-pant clad boys are running around the house, threatening to pee on their grandma's carpets at any moment. I am not slightly frazzled by all of this.