Not Me! Monday: The (Mostly) Potty Training Edition

I think it's about time for a confessional post, so here goes! If you are curious about the origins of such a wondrous thing, go to MckMama's blog and laugh at her shortcuts. A mother would go crazy without them, I assure you.

• I did not skip some of our fun Advent activities last week (go here to see how I espouse the wonderful ideals of an Advent calendar) in order to potty train. I did not pretend that the slip of paper said "Let's go pee-pee in the potty today!" instead of something like "Let's make a fun craft to share with our grandparents." I did not deprive my parents and in-laws of the joy of homemade crafts, courtesy of their beloved grandsons.

• I did not have such an intense craving for milk this past week that, after I had drained the last of the gallon dry, I substituted half-and-half for milk in a bowl of granola.

• I do not drink my children's whole milk. This would defeat the purpose of pretending to try to lose all the baby weight.

• I did not jump around, cheer, clap, and in general carry on like a crazy person the first time each of my boys peed in their potty chairs. My extended family members did not also participate in a similar fashion when they were present for Jack's first bathroom success.

• I did not put our friend Brennan, who came to visit and relax for the weekend, to work by letting him help entertain the boys, hold the baby, and assist in potty training.

• I did not stalk the postman for three days in hopes that he would bring my baby girl's silly headbands that I had ordered. I have not forced her to wear said headbands each day since finally receiving them. They do not fill me with joy and delight.

• The words "pee-pee," "poop," and "potty" are not currently the top three words in my vocabulary. I do not discuss the ups and downs of potty training with strangers, friends, acquaintances, or blog readers.

• I did not order my husband one more Christmas gift than I told him I would. It does not make me ridiculously happy that I have one more gift for him than he has for me.

• I do not tell everyone who MIGHT be getting me a gift that I hope I'm receiving the Twilight series. My husband did not irritate me to death when he tried to get the books used on Book Mooch instead of finding a brand-new boxed set somewhere.

• On that inevitable vampire love saga vein, I am not so addicted that I am reading the incomplete draft of Midnight Sun for the second time.

That's about all I can think to confess to for now. I'm sure some doozies will jump out at me as soon as I finish this post, so watch out!